Portland City Council Names Tofu as Official Mascot

In a 4-1 vote, elected city officials designate bean curd to represent PDX.

The Portland City Council voted Wednesday to designate a block of tofu as the city’s official mascot. The six-person vote—which lasted nearly four hours thanks to the fact that it was free-play night at Ground Kontrol Classic Arcade—turned into a heated debate when Mayor Charlie Hales exercised his veto power regarding the type of soybean product best suited to represent the Rose City. “Look,” Hales said, “I like Commissioner (Amanda) Fritz, but if she thinks we’re using soft tofu to promote Portland, then maybe she’s representing the wrong city. It’s like I’ve told my children Moon, Smile, and Paul—in this house, and this city, it’s extra firm or GTFO.” To further complicate the matter, a noticeably shaken Commissioner Nick Fish slammed his fist into the oversized Pac-Man game every time Hales and Fritz argued. “We could have solved this issue months ago had they gone with my idea,” Fritz said, “which was to use nutritional yeast, but we couldn’t figure out how to design the costume in a way that would look like nooch. But now that there’s a worldwide shortage, it appears as if we’re going with tofu. I don’t mind, though, because the last thing we need is 12,000 LA transplants emailing us to ask what our mascot is supposed to be.” In the lone dissenting vote, Auditor Mary Hull Caballero felt so strongly that tofu should not be the city’s mascot that she left her can of 16-ounce Pabst Blue Ribbon above the NBA Jam console without finishing it. “I prefer seitan,” she said. Portland is often touted as the most vegan-friendly city in the world, which Hales said explains the new mascot.


More News

World's Last Male Northern White Rhino Dies

Horn poaching has led to the decimation of the rare subspecies of African rhino, with only two females left on Earth.
Read More »

Virgin Trains Debut Their First Vegan Cooked Breakfast

Commuters in the United Kingdom can now enjoy a hot pot of vegan hash browns, beans, mushrooms, and spinach aboard west coast Virgin Trains.
Read More »

50 Percent of Meals at One CA School District are Vegan

Children in Santa Barbara school cafeterias are raving about vegan brand Hungry Planet's soyrizo quesadillas, crispy chicken burgers, spaghetti and meatballs, beef nachos, and chicken alfredo.
Read More »

Domino's New Zealand Might Soon Offer Vegan Cheese

The international chain is polling Kiwi consumers on social media to ascertain demand for vegan cheese—a move that landed Follow Your Heart's mozzarella on menus across Australia in January.
Read More »

YouTube Stars Rhett and Link Veganize Arby's

The comedy duo's wildly popular Good Mythical Morning YouTube series heads to Arby's, Wendy's, and McDonald's for the vegan edition of their segment Fast Food Secret Menu Hacks.
Read More »

This Week on VegNews TV: The secret to these delightful sweet treats is white beans! Aylin Erman shows you how to make these simple blondies.

More Videos »