So you’re single on Valentine’s Day, huh? You know what that means—tears. Lots and lots of tears. Luckily, February 14 doesn’t have to be another reminder of how you’re going to die with nothing but a bed full of stuffed animals and a tomato plant you named “Harry.” Instead, you can have the best night ever by sitting on your couch, watching movies, and eating amazing vegan food. Okay, fine—even we don’t believe that scenario is better than having someone say “I love you” over a four-course vegan dinner, but watching good films and stuffing your face is better than staring at your phone in hopes that the one who got away will come to his or her senses and accept your marriage proposal. Until that happens, here are eight great movies (and one potentially bad one) with food recommendations to get you through this oh-so-lonely day.
1. Kindergarten Cop with Vega products
In this film, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a detective named John Kimble who works undercover as a kindergarten teacher in Oregon. If that sounds like the greatest idea for a movie ever, that’s because it is. And because this cinematic masterpiece was released in 1990, the former California governor’s body is, as he might say, “pumped.” With this in mind, there’s only one food to pair with this classic and that’s a Vega protein bar. But you’ll need to wash down that bar with something, which is where a nice blend of almond milk and Vega protein powder comes in. Go for the chocolate All-in-One flavor, and consider that dessert!
2. Bambi with a magic cookie bar
Watching Bambi on Valentine’s Day means you’re definitely going to cry, and the salt from your tears will surely run into your mouth, so you might as well balance that saltiness with something sweet. We prefer our recipe for Magic Cookie Bars, but the real magic would be if that attractive vegan from OkCupid would return our messages.
3. The Hunt for Red October with beet salad
I saw this film in the theaters but don’t remember anything about it. Luckily, that’s why Wikipedia was invented. According to the site, this movie “involves a rogue Soviet naval captain who wishes to defect to the United States with his officers and the Soviet Navy’s newest and most advanced nuclear missile submarine.” I don’t know what that means, but I do know “red” is in the title, which gives you an excuse to make our Mixed Greens with Beets & Walnuts salad.
4. Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory with Amella
Let’s get something straight here, people—we’re talking the original 1971 Gene Wilder film and not that 2005 remake with Johnny Depp, ok? Now that that’s out of the way … if a better movie has ever been made, please let us know because Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory has been our favorite flick since we were in fourth grade. And because the word “chocolate” is in the title, there’s only one food to eat while watching Charlie Bucket get a golden ticket, and that’s chocolate. Any vegan chocolate will do, but because all those coupled types will be enjoying themselves a spicy evening, pair your movie with Amella’s Vegan Habanero Pink Salt Caramels. Unlike other products that claim to be spicy but leave you unsatisfied, these sweets deliver such a punch you might cry, which gives you a perfect excuse when your neighbor sees tears running down your face. “What? No. I’m not crying because I’m alone on Valentine’s Day—I’m eating habanero chocolate.”
5. The Big Lebowski with vegan white Russians
We like to call this pairing “Thursday night,” but we can bump this up two days for this week. Or, maybe we’ll do it twice. But definitely not on Saturdays, and most certainly not during league play.
6. Groundhog Day with nutritional yeast
How many days in a row can you put nutritional yeast on your lunch salad before you can’t remember what day of the week it is? For me, it’s three, but I don’t have that great of a memory. Also, this film stars Bill Murray, and if you’re going to be alone on Valentine’s Day, it’s going to take a comedic genius to snap you out of that funk.
7. Home Alone with pizza
You know who likes Home Alone? Everyone. You know who likes pizza? Everyone. So get your ugly, yella, no-good keister in motion, and order a pie from Fresh Brothers, Blaze Pizza, or Z Pizza. If you’re one of the lucky pizza lovers in Australia or New Zealand, order one of Domino’s newly launched vegan pizzas.
8. Strange Brew with beer
A chef once told me that beer goes with everything. I’m not one to disagree with the experts, but I’d like to add one exception to that rule, and that exception is that beer goes with everything … except loneliness. In that case, it’s kind of sad. So, rather than be alone, drunk, and miserable on Valentine’s Day, why not get wasted with Bob and Doug McKenzie? One piece of advice: if your dog dons a cape and starts flying over your city, it’s time to put down the beer and go to sleep.
9. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band with stuffed peppers
This 1978 musical comedy is inspired by the Beatles’ 1967 album of the same name and 1969’s Abbey Road. It does not, however, star the actual Beatles, so forget this one and chow down on our Spicy Vegan Stuffed Peppers. Don’t worry—skipping the film will still make you a member of the lonely hearts club.
Ryan Ritchie is VegNews digital editor who is buying Valentine’s presents for his cats.
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