Trump Goes on Vegan Taco Cleanse; Ponders Mexico Wall

In an interview with Fox News, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump revealed that he just finished “eating [his] way” through the 75 recipes in The Taco Cleanse cookbook. He received a copy of the vegan cookbook in the mail along with a note from the authors that read, “Mr. Trump, this book contains the key to making America great again.” While hesitant at first, the GOP frontrunner hired his former personal chef Joe Isidori—the creator of New York City’s $15 milkshake craze—to recreate all of the recipes in the book. Reporter Amy Huntsman inquired if Trump was now vegan, to which he responded, “I’m American. What’s vegan?” Halfway through the three-minute segment, a platter piled high with several dishes from The Taco Cleanse—including Enlightened Soy Curls Al Pastor, Redemption Beans, and Tolerant Bulgur Chorizo—was brought on set. Trump squealed with joy: “Mexican food is the best part of America! Take the oil, Muslims, illegal immigration, NATO!” When asked if his decision to build a wall around Mexico to prevent immigrants from illegally crossing into United States territory still stands, Trump stated, “If the wall affects the import of avocados, I’d have to reconsider.” The Taco Cleanse—a wildy popular vegan cookbook created by a group of funny friends in Austin, TX—has gained many confused-but-enthusiastic readers since its release last December.

#AprilFools!