Actor-turned-country-singer William Shatner—of Star Trek fame—will perform for the first time at famed venue Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, TN on February 15. Shatner will be accompanied by country music star Jeff Cook to perform songs from his new album Why Not Me, which includes the single “Too Old to Be Vegan”—a satirical tune that touches on reasons that older generations give for not going vegan. The song begins with a description of Shatner ordering food at a restaurant. “Excuse me, Miss, I didn’t order this,” Shatner says. “It looks like something from the abyss. I don’t think I’ll be eating this. It came from a freaking plant. It’s not bleeding, it’s not dead … and I can’t eat something that’s never been bred. Please tell me what kind of restaurant I walked into.” The song then launches into a chorus with backup vocals provided by Cook. “He’s too old to be vegan,” Cook sings. “He needs his steak and fries.” Shatner chimes in with, “If I don’t get my daily dose of meatloaf, I’m going to die.” In a humorous tone, Shatner touches on the contrarian responses many vegans hear when confronting older meat-eaters. “Say, do you have anything a carnivore would eat? A pound or two of juicy beef with a side of gluten-filled mac and cheese? I’ll take two of those with extra lactose.” Throughout the song, Shatner sings a playful reprise: “Eating lettuce and veggies is like getting wedgies. Does it look like I’m teething?” with Cook finishing the verse by singing, “He’s safer as a heathen.”
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